Writing workshop 1: Story

Pretend that a puppy chases a ball into the woods. The puppy gets lost. Write a story telling about what happens after the puppy gets lost.

<This was her writing of first time, she gave too many details that were not related, it was not written in really logical way, well, turned out it was more like a dream scene.>
The puppy gets lost in a muddy forest. The forest was filled with monkeys and parrots it was nothing like home. The puppy jumped through prickly vines soon he found a place
to drink... suddenly a crocodile jumped out of the water and startled the poor little puppy. He ran further in the forest and finally caught his breath. Then there was a little round thing sticking
out of a tree, when he took a closer look, there was his ball! the puppy grabed the ball and started to play. Then an eagle swoop down she said that she was a bird from this forest she had a broken wing and could'nt fly well,  the puppy and eagle became friends soon the sky became darker. It was almost night time.

The puppy said to the eagle I have find our way out of here! so they ran across the muddy bottom and then the puppy stoped at a small pond and saw the same alligator and said RUN! RUN! RUN! they ran as fast as his legs could carry him (the eagle flyed)soon he heard his owner calling him the puppy woke up  and turns out it was a dream!

The writer does not focused on the topic and purpose.
The paper has a beginning, middle, and end. The events are told in a logical order,
although many unrelated detail (The eagle, money, parrots, balls, alligators....) interrupts the flow of events.  

Try again, stay focus on the topic
Beginning: The puppet gets lost. How did he get lost?
Middle: What did he do after he got lost? How did he find the way home?
Ending: Did he find the way home?

This is her 2nd try of writing.
The puppy was playing with his ball. then  All of the sudden, an owl swooped down and grabbed the ball  from the puppy, and poped it the puppy was furious. He chased the owl and barked at it. soon the puppy found that he was in the middle of a the forest!

The puppy was mad and scared at the same time. so the puppy wander of further He wondered around into the forest. He met a turtle, the turtle was kind and he said tell him if you he go over this creek you'll he would find a friendly little chipmunk that will would get you him out of this forest.
So the turtle carried the puppy over the creek.  Than a chipmunk lead Then the puppy followed the chipmunk to get out of the woods. and 

As soon as he said good bye to the chipmunk the puppy heard his owner calling him. so he raced to his owner and licked him happily. the puppy's owner gave him a new ball to play with.

I like the beginning but the middle need more elaboration.